Here’s an excerpt from my upcoming release, SNAP!
Snap is due for release in Jan 2007 from Triskelion Publishing and is a contemporary erotic romance set in New Zealand. As usual with my books, there’s a bit of humor in there as well. Enjoy!
Shelley
BLURB:
An inheritance should be something pleasant, like money or jewelry or a personal memento. That’s exactly what accountant Alice Beasley is expecting the lawyer to announce at the reading of her aunt’s will—a nice surprise to ensure her future security.
Instead Alice inherits a condom company called Fancy Free along with numerous associated problems: elderly board members who are more preoccupied with eating cake, drinking coffee, knitting and frank discussions of sex; worrying troubles with production and design, the attentions of a stalker with a costume fetish, and then there’s the manager—James AKA Mr. Dashing. He makes her very nervous indeed.
It’s clear to Alice she has fallen down a rabbit hole into a chaotic Wonderland, and she’s waiting for someone to pinch her awake. Alice wants normal, she wants security and love, but what she gets is fun and passion and physical pleasure while bad boy James teaches her about managing a condom company…
EXCERPT:
“Are you really all right, dear? You look a little flushed.” The knitting lady again.
Alice jerked back to the present to find every one of the six board members staring at her again plus the admin lady and worst of all, the manager, James Bates. He wore a grin. It was almost as if he knew what she’d fantasized about and relived only seconds ago.
Oh, my. Steven was right. Her morals had fallen by the wayside. She was a wicked woman and was going to hell. Realizing she had yet to answer, Alice blurted, “Fine. I’m…ah…concentrating.” And how. If she concentrated on sex and condoms any harder she was going to self-combust. An x-rated version of Alice in Wonderland. Who’d have guessed?
“How’s the security?” Richard Maxwell asked. “Have we had any more breaches since we installed the security cameras on the roof?”
“The alarm hasn’t been tripped, but we’ve had a lot of problems on the production line recently. Supplies going missing and Scott, the floor manager discovered someone had changed the settings on the packing machine. Most of the boxes packed this week were short one condom. Of course we only found this out after they’d left the warehouse. We’ve had to recall them.”
“More money off the bottom line,” Sam Glengarry muttered, fingering his chin in a thoughtful manner. “Not good.”
“We’ll have to set up covert cameras on the floor,” Richard said. “I didn’t want to do that.”
“We’ll do what we have to,” Katarina stated. “Besides, I want to buy a red coupe with my next payout. Can’t do that if we don’t have profits.”
“Red?” Ben asked. “I’d get a black one. I heard on the radio today that the most desired car color in Britain is black.”
“Humph,” Katarina said. “It’s a bugger to keep clean. Fingerprints all over the paintwork. There’s nothing worse.”
“Can we get back to condoms?” James demanded with a trace of impatience.
Joseph Craig nodded, even though it was clear his mind was on bonuses. “That’s a bit rough. Too much money invested in the X-100. We must sort out our security problems before the public gets wind of it. Can’t have the consumers losing confidence in the integrity of Fancy Free’s products.”
Everyone around the table nodded. The board moved on in discussions.
Rita Jamieson, the admin lady produced another life-sized penis made of fiberglass from a padlocked wooden box, placed it on the table and competently rolled on a teal green condom with purple dots. Harriet Te Whare glanced up from her lime green and canary yellow knitting. “I’m not sure about the color selections.”
“Rubbish,” Ben Kumar stated. “Purple is the new black. I suppose we could have black dots since that color is so popular on cars.”
“Of course we’ll have several colors,” James said. “A matching palette. These are just two examples.”
“I’m more worried about the design.” Joseph Craig picked up the model to survey it from all angles. “And I’m still not sure about these dots. What have the people in the trials said about comfort?”
“The raised dots are fine,” James said, picking up the other model. “I’ve used it myself. See the way they move when I touch them? It’s like a mini vibration.”
“But they’re much bigger than our regular raised dots model,” Joseph argued. “We’re using extra latex in the design because the dots are larger.”
“No. We have the right amount of latex.” James picked up the fiberglass model. “Pretend my hand is the woman’s vagina. See how the dots fan outward like tiny brushes?”
Alice stared, her mouth pursed in astonishment and partial shock as he showed the rest of the board how the new condom functioned. His fist acted as the woman’s vagina while he used his other hand to thrust and demonstrate how the raised dots functioned during use. They didn’t bat an eyelid but paid close attention and asked intelligent questions. Alice leapt from one shock to another and learned more about the theory of sex and the practical application of condoms in the course of the day than she’d soaked up in all her twenty-five years.
