They should give these out before you leave the hospital so you have several years to study! I must admit, my kid’s not quite this atrocious, but she sure falls into the slob category :d
Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a
teenaged daughter. Please read this manual carefully, as it
describes the maintenance of your new daughter, and answers
important questions about your warranty (which does NOT
include the right to return the product to the factory for a
full refund).
IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR: To
determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenaged
girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she
(a) look very similar to your original daughter, only with
more makeup and less clothing? (b) refuse to acknowledge
your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting
money)? (c) sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry? If any of
these are true, you have received the correct item. Nice
try, though.
BREAK-IN PERIOD: When you first receive your teenaged
daughter, you will initially experience a high level of
discomfort. Gradually, this discomfort will subside, and you
will merely feel traumatized. This is the “Break-In Period,”
during which you are becoming accustomed to certain
behaviors that will cause you concern, anxiety, and stress.
Once you have adapted to these behaviors, your teenager will
start acting even worse.
ACTIVATION: To activate your teenaged daughter, simply place
her in the vicinity of a telephone. No further programming
is required.
SHUTDOWN: Several hours after activation, you may desire to
shut down your teenaged daughter. There is no way to do
this.
LOL - TJ
by Shelley Munro February 9th, 2007 at 2:35 amWho’d have kids, right?
Good guestion, Shelley! ROFL!
by TJ Michaels February 10th, 2007 at 1:51 pm