I know Mother’s Day is still a couple months off but I’d kinda like to talk about moms. We’ve all either heard or delivered the famous last words, “Because I said so!” at some time in our lives. But THIS is priceless! It should be called, “Ode to Second Graders.” Check it:
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What’s the difference between Moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head
ROFL
These are absolutely hilarious. Kids do say the darndest things.
by NJ Walters March 22nd, 2007 at 1:33 pmYou know what’s even funnier? I think I remember saying a couple of these myself when I was a kid. Especially the part about where mom was made with just a little bit of mean. Oh, and string!
by TJ Michaels March 22nd, 2007 at 2:12 pmThese are so funny. I like the answers to the difference between moms and dads the best.
by shelly March 22nd, 2007 at 2:17 pmWhen I was a kid the difference between mom and dads was:
by TJ Michaels March 22nd, 2007 at 2:30 pmOne is crazy and one’s not. Dad’s not.
that is really cute, thanks for sharing.
by Kris March 22nd, 2007 at 5:03 pmLise
by Lise Fuller March 23rd, 2007 at 10:07 pmMoms are like magic erasers - you don’t know exactly what’s in em but you can’t imagine life without them.
by Lauren Dane March 24th, 2007 at 10:39 amMagic Erasers…what did we do before they came along? They’re on my list for when we go to the Costco later on!
And you need ‘em more when your munchkins grow to be teens :D
by TJ March 24th, 2007 at 12:12 pmOMG, string!!!
**falls over laughing**
That’s hysterical!
by AllyBlue March 25th, 2007 at 6:09 amNo reason for the Batman. I just think it’s cute O_O
This were hilarious. I can just see and hear these kids talking.
by Sandra Skidmore March 25th, 2007 at 6:59 amI wish to heck my second grader was this naive. None of her answers would have sounded like that, LOL.
by Annmarie McKenna March 25th, 2007 at 7:23 amYup… that is why. Out of the mouth of babes!!
by Rowan West March 25th, 2007 at 8:53 amSTRING! ? ! ? ! ? !
And my guess is dads are made of duct tape.
Priceless. Just as good as the kids’ answers to history questions.
Thanks!
Hugs,
by Liddy Midnight March 25th, 2007 at 10:36 amLiddy
I wonder how many kids gave the same answers? I can totally relate to the string thing. Right now, I feel like mine’s unraveling trying to keep up with my son!
by TJ Michaels March 25th, 2007 at 11:23 amYO LIDDY! Where you been, woman?
by TJ Michaels March 25th, 2007 at 11:24 am