The Dynamic Trio - Blog

I’ve been known to be more of a guy than a girl. Why? Because women have gotten a bad wrap, damn it! And some men figure that if you’re not the stereotypical female you’re either too good to be true, or you are a ‘knuckle dragger’ like them. And I did NOT give them that name. It’s what they believe their women see them as. So, the term has become one that men unite around and are proud to be called.

Women, we’re seen as these complicated, emotional wrecks. We supposedly want to be pamered one minute only to flip the ’spastic switch’ and become Miss Independent I-Don’t-Need-Nobody the next minute. Total bull if you ask me, but them again, I’ve seen my share of goofballs to wonder…

Anyway, so back to the guy thing where I’m concerned. If a knuckle dragger is a person who enjoys peace and quiet, content to let the emotional wrecks get bent out of shape without us, then I guess I’m a knuckle dragger. Hell, even my ex had to admit that he was the complainer/nagger in our relationship, which to me, was a big compliment.

So…Knuckle Draggers unite!

Here’s a joke for those women, like me, who enjoy NOT nagging. Enjoy emotional stability instead of half the month PMS’ing and the other half on her period. Find pleasure in NOT adding a million things to the honey-do list. Enjoy equal parts affection and raunch. Think highly of our men (well, when we have one ;D). And who do love being on the receiving end of chivalry and pampering while still maintaining our sence of self at the expense of no one.

The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for such a thing. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a Woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want that Bridge two lanes or four?”

Now this is a hot topic personally. But before I get started you can blame this all on my friend and fellow author, Marilyn Lee. If you don’t know Marilyn’s work, she’s a kick butt author who writes Shifters, Weres and Vamps with so much personality you expect them to jump off the page and bite you (oh baby!). Her contemporary books are off the chain, too.

Well, the other day on the Ladies of the Club blog (another cool group that Marilyn and I both belong to) she started the topic on asking whether we, as woman, think chivalry is dead. The discussion was being had on other blogs where it seemed that some women don’t mind if their men called them bitches, as if the word ‘bitch’ has become the new endearment rather than ‘baby’ or ‘honey’.

Now is that ri-goddamned-diculous or what? Like Marilyn, I have strong opinions about this. If chivalry is dead with a man, then he’s not the one for me. Do I need him to tie my shoes? Not. But I do expect to be treated with care. Now, I am so NOT a high maintenance woman. I don’t nag, whine or pout. But…well, anyway, this is what I wrote in response to her blog (click HERE for the original post at Ladies of the Club):

TJ SAID: “Mary, this is a subject that just frosts my cookies. Basically, makes me mad, pisses me off, etc. Is chivalry dead? It depends on the guy. I happen to like polite, courteous men. To me, that’s chivalrous. I’ve had men tell me that they like opening doors for women, but stopped doing it when the woman bit their heads off for being nice. Which, in my opinion, is simply stupid.
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First off, the Samhain Secrets-And-Lies RT Partay was a freaking BLAST! Some of the author’s secrets were true eyebrow raisers! And some were flat out funny! Overall, it was a stomping good time with thousands of posts, tons of excerpts for upcoming books (including some sneak peeks that have never been seen by anyone except the author and her editors! Woohoo!) And plenty of contests and prizes. Lots of fun.

Now, for RT. I’ve heard some good stuff and some jacked up bad stuff about the event. Of course that’s to be expected no matter what the event…but what was up with the groping thing folks are talking about? Anybody have the skinny on that?

As for book stuff, I’m having an interesting go of it. I started working on a follow up book to SPIRIT OF THE PRYDE…and it turned into two books - one about Niah Pryde and one for the second set of Pryde twins, Kotara and Koreas. Then when I got back to outlining the next V.C.O.E. book, which was supposed to be Russian’s story, it turned into Alaina’s story instead. In a word, or a few words, I can’t stop laughing and giggling as I move the outlines along. In fact, I’m so excited about these three books, I’m working on them all at the same time and bouncing back and forth between outlining and writing the actual scenes, which is not like me at all.

And you can always tell when I’m having a great time with my writing by the rambling blog posts… ROFL!

Anyway, if you were at RT, what’s the scoop? Did you have fun? What was memorable about the experience? And are you going next year?

We were listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about the legal and moral implications of the Elliot Spitzer issue in New York. You know the one, where the Governor of New York resigned his post because he’d been caught getting it on with a prostitute.

The talk show host floated the idea of making prostitution legal. Why? As one caller pointed out, you can sell eggs from your ovaries, men can sell sperm, you can sell blood, you can sell kidneys, you can sell liver, and on it goes… So what’s the difference if a woman (or man) chooses to tell their sex?

On the other hand, prostitution is illegal in most states because of moral qualms. But should morality play into the law? For example, there are plenty of folks who die from the legal use of alcohol. Isn’t there a bit of immorality in that? How many people die each year from having paid sex? Hmmm… Anybody have statistics on that?

My daughter called in and expressed a college student’s view. Did you know that kids pay for sex from their peers? In school? They call it, giving a ‘Love Lesson’ where one kid wants to date another kid, but they can’t, or the other kid isn’t interested. So they offer to compensate the other kid for their ‘time.’ Now that kinda sounds like prostitution to me.

So, not taking a stand on either side of the fence, I’d like to know what you think about this. Should the Governor of New York have resigned especially since he only stepped down because he got caught? Whatcha think?

Recently an author linked to a site that enables people who call themselves book lovers to thieve from me and other authors by illegally downloading ebooks by the tens of thousands. These people know what they’re doing is wrong and I’ve read page after page of whining about how authors should LOVE It that they steal from us because they buy our books later on.

First of all - no I don’t love it. I hate it and you’re a thief and a liar and I don’t believe you buy the books in some mythical later. You steal them today. You scramble titles and author names to avoid detection and you do it in screen after screen. You don’t put your email or personal info up because YOU KNOW IT’S WRONG.

Here’s the thing - I’m not going to apologize for wanting you to pay for my books. If I wanted you to have the book for free, I’d give it to you through the dozens of free book contests I do yearly or I’d do free story installments at my website or my newsletter. I write books because I love to write, but it’s my profession. I don’t walk into your home and steal your belongings and I don’t see why you think you should be able to do the same. If you create bagels or cupcakes or shoes and you put them up for sale, I’m pretty sure you’d be miffed if they were stolen.

I look around and see the nastiest kids ever. Horrible manners, they can’t share and you know what? I know why. I see their moms and dads on these boards hooting about “whiny authors” but I’d bet they’d have a stroke if I walked up to their table in a restaurant and took their bottle of wine and said, “oh hey, I can’t afford it right now but I’ll totally buy you a bottle later on.”

If you’re going to steal - just own up to it instead of being a coward on top of stealing from me. Just say, “I don’t plan to pay for these books, I never plan to and I don’t care about you. I’m a hypocrite and I plan to use my three thousand dollar computer in the dorm room my parents are paying for to steal as much as I can.” Just own it. You’d still be a POS but at least you’d be honest about it.

Stealing a loaf of bread when you’re starving is one thing, stealing an ebook while drinking a six dollar cup of coffee is another.

Hope you all don’t mind - I posted this at the Ladies of the Club blog earlier this week and thought I’d share it here.

As an author of multicultural romance, I’m gonna go out on a limb and share one of the things that cracks me up…at my own expense of course (No, it’s not Hard Gay…this time ;D)

This subject gets danced around sometimes and can be a hot topic, but this is the first time I think I’ve heard a comedian address it in this manner. And as a sistah, it was nice to find that it’s totally positive while still making you laugh your butt off. My kids even put it on their iPods so we can laugh in the car over it. It’s fabulous!

What am, or who, am I talking about? STEPHEN LYNCH! Comedian and all out nutball has a song about interracial dating - it’s called VANILLA ICE CREAM. And it’s funny as hell! So take a listen…

You Tube Video (first 30 seconds in talking, but I promise he’ll get to the song - click HERE

To Visit Stephen’s Site to hear this song (better quality) - click HERE

TJ
..* ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.*´ .*´¨¨))
((¸¸.*´ ..*´ www.tjmichaels.com -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.*´* www.dynamicthree.com
CARINIAN’S SEEKER, V.C.O.E. Bk 1 ~ CAPA 2007 Nominee
SERATI’S FLAME, V.C.O.E. Bk 2 ~ In Print June 2008
WILD WINTER, Ellora’s Cave ~ Now In Print
HATSEPT HEAT, V.C.O.E. Bk 3, Samhain Publishing ~ July 2008
JAGUAR’S RULE ~ CAPA 2006 Nominee, Pocket Books ~ Feb 2009

Recently there have been a number of articles in RWR (Romance Writer’s Review done by RWA every month) bashing erotic romance and those of us who write it. One of the letters printed was written by a person named Madeline Baker (who is actually an author who writes as Amanda Ashley…which nobody bothered to point out) complaining about the ‘F’ word. Letter writers have also called writers of erotic romance ‘prostitutes of integrity’, proclaimed women who cuss ‘gang members’ (death to all those who’ve ever said ass or damn - that’s cussing, isn’t it?)

Now what the hell is THAT about? And why in the world would RWA believe it’s okay to bash fellow authors and chapters? Why does RWA, who seems to promote this derision, continue to print their drivel over and over again (yes, ladies and gentlemen, one letter was printed two months in a row) without any opposing view points? I know at least a few authors who did write such an opposing view, but we haven’t seen their letters in RWR yet. Don’t hold your breath. I will not be responsible for anyone turning blue or purple.

And, if I’m not mistaken, the fabulous special interest chapter, PASSIONATE INK, was singled out (if that’s not correct, let me know as I don’t have the mags anymore). Well, the poor prostitutes of integrity at Passionate Ink are running a tongue-in-cheek survey right now. The survey question is:

In light of recent letters to the RWR, do you think we should change our chapter’s name to Prostitutes of Integrity — you know, to reflect who we really are?

And of the three choices (Hell yes, Maybe, and No), I dare you to take a guess which category is winning so far by a LONG SHOT! So, if you’re an Inker, get your booty over to the PI forum, skip over to General Discussion > Chat > - then scroll down to the Forum Topics section and look for the blue icon for the poll. You can vote without leaving a post.

I don’t know about you, but real sex is anything but staid unless the lovers aren’t hot for each other, the lovers aren’t comfortable with their sexuality (this can go both ways with either the man, woman, or both), or you’re just lying. And while I can’t claim to have done all the things I write about (it is fiction, after all) I can say that sometimes sex is gentle. And sometimes it’s wild, raunchy jungle sex. But am I going to tell the writer’s of plain old vanilla sex that they shouldn’t write it just ‘cause I like it hot? Nope. Am I gonna tell the ladies who believe sex should only be had in the dark, fully clothed, at 8:30 pm on Tuesdays in total silence that they shouldn’t write it ‘cause I like it done in the daytime on Friday? Nope.

So why the hell should they judge me and my fellow authors?

Well, here are some suggestions for those who believe sex shouldn’t be frank in a romance novel:
• If you don’t like erotic romance, don’t buy it.
• If your bedroom partner doesn’t lay it down on you and tell you how much he wants to ____(insert F word here), then kick his ass until he does.
• If you’re unsatisfied with your lover’s skill, send your lover to school or get another one. But don’t get mad at me just ’cause I’m free enough to write it hot.
• If your man ain’t an alpha…well, nothing we can do about that one. Sorry.
• If your woman is an alpha and you’d rather have the job, see the comment above.
• If your lover doesn’t make you have an orgasm and you’re mad, remember to replace the batteries. Or buy erotic romance…and then replace the batteries. Fast.
• If you can’t say ‘come’ without blushing, read more erotic romance. You’d don’t have to write it - we’ve got that part covered.
• If your lover can’t say ‘come’ without blushing, make them read more erotic romance or read it to them…naked.
• If the word ‘come’ makes you feel dirty…hmmm, you’re on your own with that one.
• If you believe that good girls don’t, perhaps a talk with your mother is in order…’cause I’m sure she was a good girl, yet you’re here. Which meant sex happened sometime in order to have you…and probably continued afterward.
• If sex in your house is less than inspiring, buy a Dynamic Trio book.
• If sex in your house is less than inspiring, and you want the rest of the authoring world to write uninspiring sex - Sorry, that train has already left the station.

So whatcha got to say about that *wink*

I know better. I know I shouldn’t read the letters in the RWR and yet every month I do. And I’m honestly never ready for the depth of audacity on the part of some of the people who write in to gasp and moan and put their hand on their foreheads and cry about the direction of romance.

This month’s little ditty is written by Linda Swift Reeder - who quickly assures us she’s not a prude and then follows up by calling erotic romance porn and women who have sex or who use curse words in these books sluts. This follows three months of letters crying about the “gang member” language on the part of heroines (including one written by a fairly well known pararomance author only signed in her real name and makes no reference to her writerly persona). Yawn. Won’t someone think of the children. *weeps* Yadda yadda.

I’m bored by the attacks on my morals by people who don’t know me. I’m agitated far more by what equals attacks on my readers. I mean, to consistently assail books my readers buy which contain curse words and sex scenes is at attack on romance readers and I’m not a genius or anything, but I love my readers and I can’t imagine why these folks attack them.

At this point I’m not even angry. I’m just sort of saddened by the lazy intellectualism this sort of letter shows.

I don’t think it’s jealousy that drives this sort of letter. I think there’s an expectation by people of Reeder’s ilk, that one’s opinion should be more than just an opinion - it should simply be the way *everyone* thinks and feels. This plays out in politics and every day life as well.

Some people don’t handle change well so they latch on to whatever they can to hang their anxieties. Erotic romance, sex, confident women - it’s all just a place to go when you can’t deal with your own insecurities.

There are indeed many romance novels that don’t contain graphic sex and bad language. There is indeed a middle ground in romance as well as the extremes on both sides (and I mean extreme as in polarity from the middle not in character). But people like this never rely on facts, they go straight for histrionics because that’s all they know. It’s lazy, but it’s prevalent.

There are many books I don’t read. Many genres that dont’ work for me. And many that do. I tend to turn my brain off whenever anyone starts wailing about “the children” or “our daughters” or “we as X women” because cripes, there are as many kinds of women as there are kinds of books.

I don’t think it’s sex she needs, or royalties, or whatever. I think it’s a damned open mind she’s in desperate need of and an ability to accept and understand she’s not the arbiter of what anyone but herself reads, does and says.

Books are amazing. Preferences are amazing. So put the two together why don’t you? Like what you like, don’t like what you don’t. It’s so very simple and completely unnecessary to attack what other people read and write.

A good friend of mine is a professional dancer. When she’s not traveling, she enjoys kicking back and hanging with friends. She sent me some pictures yesterday with a challenge regarding all these lovely ladies - her challenge? CAN YOU TELL WHICH ONE IS A MAN?

My first reaction was, “Say what?” Then I took a look at the photos and was like, wow! Every picture was of an absolutely gorgeous female…or was it? And more important, how the hell did they do that? Every one of them looks better than me on my best day at work! As for make-up, it’s so well done I’m actually jealous. Damn it.

So, can you tell which person is really a male?

My daughter sent me this article and wanted to know what I thought. It’s about romance and the male perception of what women want versus what they really want. And, well, considering it’s an article written by a man for men about themselves, I thought it was interesting. Let me follow it up by saying I actually know a man similar to the one in the article. To this day he is a very nice guy. He married a real go-getter who was emotionally and financially supportive of whatever he wanted. He admitted that he was the nagger. Her job was to make most of the hard decisions, which she hated. He was emotionally needy and felt her individual goals took away time from him (even if she was sitting right there), and if there was a headache that prevented sex, he had it. Yet he left her. Why?

This article hit on what men think about this stuff. I’ll simply say the last paragraph did it for me. After I finished cracking up and laughing, I sobered and thought, “I wonder how many people would get this?” So…take a couple of minutes and read the whole article, then tell us what YOU think. No politically correct, half-truths required – you can tell it like it is. Is this article full of it? Or can you relate?

“Hey guys,

Imagine a 350 pound woman–who hasn’t bathed in a week. Now imagine she has hairy arms and legs, and a little mustache to boot. She’s missing a few teeth and doesn’t wear make up. Are you attracted to her? Probably not–I sure as heck ain’t. Why not?

The answer is simple: as men, we’re attracted to a certain set of visual cues in women. While they vary slightly from guy to guy, when we see a stunning woman we can pretty much agree she’s stunning, and when we see one who was beaten about the head with the ugly stick, we pretty much agree about that, too.

Now, what would you think if the woman I just described said, “Looks shouldn’t matter to men–they should like me for who I am.” You’d probably think she was off floating around Uranus, because there’s no man on earth who’s going to like her for “who she is.”

The same thing happens with men all the time, but they never know it. I hear men say over and over, “I don’t want to learn to be a ‘naughty boy,’ I don’t want to change my personality, I think women should like me for who I am!”

This is the exact same thing to women as the attitude of the 350 lb woman is to men. See, attraction isn’t created in women by looks–it’s accomplished by being a self assured MAN with a wicked sense of humor who knows how to “give her a good time in a [naughty] way,” define authority in the interaction, create sexual tension for her, then slowly “amp” that tension up, all the while being “predictably unpredicatable.”

A lot of guys don’t like to hear this. They want to be “nice guys,” kiss women’s butts, put them on a pedestal, buy them lots of gifts, and let the woman decide what direction the relationship is going to take. This is the male equivalent of being a 350 pound woman, because women HATE to be around guys like this. There’s no tension whatsoever. Women love [sexual] tension, and make attraction decisions based on whether or not that delicious feeling is present, just like we make attraction decisions based on looks.

When I explain this to some guys they comment on “how sad” it is, or “how women are all messed up.” Oh please–this is like saying the law of gravity is soooo unfair. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just what is. When you acknowledge in it, and revel in it that’s when you begin to get massive results. Relationships of all types are based on giving the other person what they want–you make her feel attraction in the way she wants to, and she’ll dress sexy for you in front of your friends, fry your circuits in the bedroom, and go out of her way to make you feel like a man. But if you don’t give her what she wants, she’ll find a guy who will, and drop you like a hot potato.

So, next time you’re talking with a desirable woman, remember to create attraction for her by giving her what she wants–not what you think she should want. Otherwise you’ll just be another 350 lb woman masquerading as a guy.

On with the fun… -John Alanis”

So, whatcha think?

TJ